| Back In LA |
[09 Aug 2004|01:51pm] |
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The trip back was my favorite kind: uneventful. I'm back at CBS prepping for tonight's show.
I hope those of you who were sports inclined got to see my reappearance on ESPN last night. Otherwise I flew 2600 miles for nothing! Actually, 5200 miles round trip! It was fun to be on the tacky set, sitting next to a guy who was pulling my jacket from under the console and generally trying to either crack me up or start a fight or both. Ah, those days of being in Bristol. How I cherish them so.
And the baseball coverage, huh? Wow! Lots of plays, lots of games. I feel like doing a survey right now about it:
Poll #333415 Baseball?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 24 What do you think about Baseball? If you do follow baseball, what is your favorite team? If you have a favorite baseball team, why did you select the one you did? (check all that apply) If baseball isn't a sport you like/follow, is there a sport you do like/follow, and if so, what? You can have great seats to any one of the following: which would you most like to have? Finally, give me a word, phrase or sentence to describe your thoughts about baseball.
Hey! We're cool! We have the Ying Yang Twins on the show tonight! Later.
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(2 questions|yambo me)
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| Early Flight Back |
[09 Aug 2004|05:50am] |
I'm about to go back to LA. What a great night, huh? Flying all the way to Connecticut from LA for about 90 minutes of work. And getting up at what time is it? My eyes aren't focusing properly.
My agent is going to get twenty percent of that ESPN appearance fee because he's going to pay for the first class tickets and hotel accomodations and all of my meals in NYC while I was here. So he'll owe me about two thousand dollars when I get back. Hopefully he'll pay me in small bills, because we're starting up the fantasy football league, and the rest of the gang hates when I throw around "The Benjamins" all over the room.
It was so much fun covering the baseball games. What a sport, huh? No time limit to how the games are played. You can play, oh, eighteen innings, and nobody blinks. In fact, that's just what Minnesota did. My Twins had to lose, so those highlights weren't. At least I didn't have to say a word about the New York (best team money can buy) Yankees, which was perfectly fine with me. I think you might be able to catch another rerun of the episode this morning, but by Noon, it should be gone.
Coincidentally, that's about when my plane should be arriving at LAX. Come meet me at the airport! But only if you're picking me up in a stretch limo.
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(9 questions|yambo me)
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| A Different Kind Of "Old School" |
[08 Aug 2004|07:47pm] |
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Wild Feed from SBC Park in an earpiece. |
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Not everyone remembers that I got my start in this business, not on "The Daily Show," but as a sportscaster. I was a staffer at ESPN for many days. Some of the happiest days of my life, in fact... until I got out of there.
But now, I'm going back! In fact, I'm already back. I'll be co-hosting the start of "ESPN's Sportscenter" during their "Old School" week, when they invite back only the brightest and the best reporters to anchor the show for one night only.
Of course, the most important sports night is Sunday, so you'll see me this evening at 11pm, or after the game, depending on the time zone you're in. The Giants are hosting the Cubbies in the Sunday Night Game, so tune in for that if you are inclined.
Watch for me to sneak in "Jumanji!" into the highlight recaps.
If you can't see the show at 11, I think they rerun it, non-stop, overnight and into the next morning, so you'll be sick of seeing me, all in one day!
In preparation for this historic 25th Anniversary event for the network, Dan Patrick interviewed me. Read it and get some very serious insights about the behind the scenes at ESPN, and about how amusing this evening will be (hopefully more amusing than that interview went).
Let me see if I remember the notes... Da-da-da! Da-da-da!
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(16 questions|yambo me)
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| Starting Over |
[26 Jul 2004|01:15am] |
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No, I'm not appearing on some daytime reality show, but I am welcoming new people to my journal! I finally deleted a bunch of journals that hadn't been updated since the start of the Century, and added on some bright new stars to replace them. Hopefully, I'll continue to add on new people as I go, since, to me, it's all about interaction... it's all about talk.
This week's shows are going to be chock full of laughs, since the Democratic Convention is starting in Boston. We'll have to send somebody out there to cover the event, and see what sorts of fun things are happening in the Boston hotel rooms.
Did you see Sen. Kerry throwing out the first pitch at the Red Sox game? He's a big fan of the Sox, and I think that'll stand him in good stead with the citizens whose lives he has disrupted for this week!
And the Red Sox beat the Yankees! I'm sure that with the Republicans having their big shindig in New York later this summer, Kerry will hope that Boston beats New York at least once more!
As for guests... eh. Probably nobody you know is going to be on this week. We're sort of guessing we might be pushed back at least one night, if the news coverage runs long. You know. Dan Rather just starts talking and he won't shut up!
Let's see... what else? Oh right. Ricky Williams decided to just quit the Dolphins. Something about failing a drug test? I should do a joke about being in "flipper" mode, but what porpoise would that serve?
Anyway, as Billy Joel said, "It's All About Rum." I know you think he said, "It's All About Soul," but trust me on this. Have a great week!
KILBORN FOR PRESENT! (sic)
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(13 questions|yambo me)
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| A Couple Of Nights Of Morrissey |
[21 Jul 2004|12:17am] |
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Take A Guess! |
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So, this week, I'm trying to keep this low key, just in case something happens... but we're supposed to have a couple of nights of performances by ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) _morrissey_!
I'm going to talk about some other stuff right now, so that isn't the main focus of this post.
Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey
Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey Morrissey
So, watch the show this week. Especially Thursday and Friday.
You know, just because.
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(2 questions|yambo me)
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| What's Up? |
[10 Jul 2004|02:03pm] |
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Celine Dion - "Because You Loved Me" |
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So, I may not have been making new Late Late Shows this past week, but I haven't been slacking, either. Sure, I took a bit of time off and did some traveling, but I have been hard at work as a film actor, and let me tell you, it's not like sitting at a desk and talking with people. Okay, it's easier, since you know what's going to be said and done before it happens. But it's a lot of work.
You know why it takes so long to make movies? Lighting. It's as simple as that. It takes time for lighting technicians to move the lights around to shoot the film. So you spend lots of time waiting for that to happen, and that is spent reading magazines in the trailer. How many times can I see Peta Wilson naked? I mean, two dimensionally, that is! ;)
But it's back to the usual grind on Monday, when the show makes its triumphant return! I'm actually eager to get back to it. A while of waiting to say a couple of lines of dialogue will do that. No wonder all those actors are stir crazy! You need to do things like go to vegas to get married!
Oh, and speaking of that... I have to select one of the items to send for Britney's Wedding Registry. Good, good wishes to Kevin and her as they start their new life together. It's things like this that make life worth living.
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(2 questions|yambo me)
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| Fantastic Quote! |
[04 Jul 2004|01:11pm] |
"I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went back and got his tub!"
Best quote ever! though Andy didn't win Wimbledon this time, he proved his abilities and his gracious glibness as Federer took the title.
Better luck at Flushing Meadows, Andy!
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(2 questions|yambo me)
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| Summer's Here and All I Want To Do... |
[27 Jun 2004|12:30pm] |
Is savor the flavor. Anybody like summer fruits? And no, I don't mean Seth Green.
Actually, summer is great because you don't have to think about anything. There's no sports going on, there's no new television shows... and there's a lot of movies that everyone needs to see.
So, tell me... what's your favorite summer pleasure? Try to keep it clean, people! ;)
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(2 questions|yambo me)
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| Doing Horribly... |
[08 Jun 2004|04:29pm] |
I haven't mentioned that my budding acting career is getting a boost from good old Wes Craven!
And you'll never guess who some of my co-stars are...
But why should I tell you? Have A Look!
So, even though I'm taking time away from the desk, I'm not slacking on work!
Proud of ghoul.
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(5 questions|yambo me)
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| "24" Questions |
[05 Jun 2004|03:07pm] |
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Reports About Ronald Reagan |
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| mrkilborn's LJ stalker is elisha_cuthbert! | | elisha_cuthbert is stalking you because they saw your picture and fell in love.. They are also prank calling you regularly! |
LJ Stalker FinderFrom Go-Quiz.com</center></center></center></center>I knew something was up since "Old School!" Oh, and Happy Trails, Ronnie. I'll never play "Wild Wild West" by Escape Club with the same feeling.
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(yambo me)
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| Ok. |
[01 Jun 2004|03:29am] |
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"Cagey" (figure THAT out!) |
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Congratulations to the Lakers. Way to go.
I guess we'll see how well they do against Indiana or Detroit.
Laker pride.
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(1 question|yambo me)
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| Where Will I Be On Memorial Day @ 6PM? |
[29 May 2004|08:27pm] |
A) The Staples Center
B) The Staples Center
C) The Staples Center
D) The Staples Center
The Timberwolves took Game 5. In your face, Shaq! I'll be courtside to see the T'wolves tie up the series before taking it back to Minnesota... and then I'll head back out there for the final!
Yeah, it's vacation week, and that was perfectly timed. I'm disappointed Morrissey didn't make even one of the shows last week. But he'll be back, I know it. Just like Minnesota!
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(7 questions|yambo me)
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| "Whatever Happened To...?" Week!!!!! |
[25 Apr 2004|03:55am] |
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Prince - "Musicology" |
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What happened to me? I've been on a very nice vacation, tuning up, winding down, honing my craft for the start of May... which, of course happens on This Thursday!
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that Thursday is April 29th. And you'd be right. But it's also the start of the ratings period known as "May Sweeps!"
Now, let me just tell you that May Sweeps really don't matter that much as far as the networks are concerned. The most important ratings are done in February. But for bragging rights and to feel better about a year that didn't go that well, May Sweeps is a great way of boosting things and making them look... as the kids say... decent.
This week's guests on The Late Late Show are, in many cases, people you had heard of at one time but totally forgot about. That's our theme this week! Here's the lineup for proof:
Monday... we're having Tim Meadows. Remember him? He was on SNL for half of his life, yet you probably couldn't name more than two characters he ever did on the show. Whatever Happened to him? We're going to find out!
Tuesday... Liz Phair. She was a really popular indie rock chick that turned Jewel on us. What happened there? Hopefully, she'll just sing and not bother telling us.
Wednesday... Jon Favreau. That svelte and funny guy from "Swingers" put on the pounds during his show "Dinner For Five." Maybe next time he should just eat a dinner for one, huh? Can you even tell where and when it's on? We'll find out all about it.
Thursday... Lacey Chabert. She used to be everybody's favorite violin-playing orphan on "Party of Five." Oh, and she did that Wild Cranberry Juice cartoon show too. Apparently, she's grown up. We're going to find out what happened there!
and Friday... a double whammy... Greg Kinnear and Bam Margera! These guys sort of had something like careers going on for at least a few minutes there. We'll try to figure out why they gave them up more quickly than they lasted!
It's going to be exciting and fun and most of all INFORMATIVE, so get a sheet of paper and a crayon to take notes with ready for use, tune in and find out Whatever Happened To...
All this week at 12:37am E/P on CBS!!!!!
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(5 questions|yambo me)
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| VH-1 Divas |
[18 Apr 2004|08:06pm] |
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A Replay of "VH-1 Divas" |
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Ahhh. What a show, huh? It really was Diva-stating. When did Wanda Sykes learn to sing? Oh, wait. That was Patti LaBelle.
Where were the REAL Divas? I'm talking about Britney Spears and Avril Lavigne and you know, those good ones. Kelly Clarkson and those? I think they missed out on a lot of fun.
It really was just a screaming contest, when you get right down to it. Which reminds me... Jennifer Love Hewitt could have gotten an invite too.
Still, it's so great to see so much talent get so little exposure.
Where are the new divas coming from? I have to know.
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(5 questions|yambo me)
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| Vacation Over! |
[05 Apr 2004|12:03pm] |
Hey! Woo! It's great to be back at work!
So, listen. We are doing a new show tonight. I'm not sure you care about that, but after the big Basketball game ends (which we'll be watching, btw), Georgia Tech and UConn. Should be a great game!
We've got Jason Priestley! We've got The Walkmen! We've got sparkling comedy bits!
I need to get over to the office, but I just wanted to say that you people make me happy, so I hope to make you happy!
Proud of you.
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(11 questions|yambo me)
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| The Anniversary Celebration Continues... |
[05 Apr 2004|05:00am] |
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Yes, it's been a very busy week, celebrating FIVE YEARS on CBS, the Tiffany Network! ;)
Thank goodness no one was paying attention or else they would know I was a complete fraud and the only thing I should be doing on late night television is giving baseball scores.
Speaking of that... it's time for the American Pasttime. The Red Sox began the year in fine style last night. They have nowhere to go but up.
Let's see. I'm taking a vacation. Tonight is the NCAA Final, so you wouldn't be watching the show anyway... not that you ever do! But I intend to change that over the next five years! And it starts today!
Well, a week from today, since I'm off right now.
I hope everyone is enjoying a lovely springtime, unless you're in the Southern Hemisphere, in which case I hope you're having a delightful early autumn (my favorite time of year)!
I'll have a story or two to tell when I come back from vacation in a week. Meanwhile... what have you been doing? How have you been? What's new, pussycat? :D
<3 U.
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(15 questions|yambo me)
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| Martha In A Stew! |
[06 Mar 2004|06:38am] |
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Marthariffic! |
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The Beatles - "Martha My Dear" |
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Notes from Martha's legal pad:
Change name of magazine to Martha Stewart Living (in Prison)
K Mart, where the "K" stands for "Konfined!"
How to craft a bar of soap to resemble a pistol, using only your fingernails.
Planning an elegant dinner with your bitch in mind.
Creating a garden by the side of the road.
Drawings of the jurors, each one prepared in a different way... boiled, fried, scrambled, etc.
My favorite recipe for hacksaw pie.
Polishing your handcuffs and leg irons for that extra "bling."
Write a charming letter to O.J. asking how he did it, then get Cochran and appeal.
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(8 questions|yambo me)
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| Congratulations! |
[03 Feb 2004|04:33pm] |
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To d_barrymore for her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame! It's about time for that!
To The New England Patriots, for winning the Big Game! Congratulations to amanda_latona, too!
Congratulations to MTV. The best Super Bowl game in the history of football, and the only thing people are talking about is the boobage. Janet, I'll see you at CBS's coverage of the Grammys this weekend. Try to keep the malfunctions to a minimum, huh? Call me Kilborn if you're Nasty.
To Incubus for their great new album. I need to get you guys to perform sometime soon.
As for my week... everything is great. People are starting to call me the "Late Night Ryan Seacrest," so how wonderful is that?
I think it's time to start having a few more of our MBP crew around on the show. I typically don't have a lot of the people who keep journals on the CBS telecast, and I'm going to make an effort to do some more of that soon.
The concentration is on February Sweeps... the most important time for television! Why, then did MTV's "Total Request Live" take this week off, especially when everyone is talking about that Super Bowl halftime show, produced by that network.
Ok. I have an exciting show tonight. I have to get myself mentally prepared to interview Dennis Kucinich!!!!!! Rock on, rockers.
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(5 questions|yambo me)
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| What's Real Anymore |
[21 Jan 2004|10:33pm] |
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I try not to watch a lot of television (after all, I have to deal with making it five nights a week). But it seems like everyone I know is getting a reality series. I don't need to list them since you all know them all.
But what's going on with it anyway? I try to watch some of these shows and I need to curl up in the fetal position and throw my comforter over myself in my California King sized bed.
Please... let's have some ground rules for these shows.
1. No shouting! I'm one channel flip away from a migraine anyway. Being loud isn't going to make your show any better.
2. No pixelation! If you can't show it on regular TV, don't bother doing it. Did you ever think that it's cool to see pixelated images of people exposing themselves? What's that about really? Disgusting!
3. Originality. How about doing something new? The dating shows... the wedding shows... the makeover shows... we've seen it all! Maybe it's time for my "NBA Tryout Camp" program, with all of the people who think they're good enough to make a team from across the country coming to the court and suiting up for their Hoop Dreams! The Knicks might just find their starting lineup thanks to me!
4. Downplay the hype. Try not to make EVERY episode seem like the "most important ever!" It's so easy to burn out. I might just watch "Tru Calling!"
5. Feel free to try doing some ACTUAL shows, instead of "real" shows. TV is all about the fakery (as anyone who watches me must know by now)! Let's see some more of that, networks... and you too, UPN!
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(14 questions|yambo me)
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| Annul Me Baby, One More Time! |
[05 Jan 2004|03:55pm] |
Flowing with the celebrity gasps in the oh four. I think that if this is any indication, this is going to be the easiest comedy year, ever! We all should get married this year and then all get it annulled the following day! That's the move. Britney is always on the cutting edge. She's also reinstating her virginity. "Born To Make You Crappy!"
rachel__bilson is joining us tonight. Why should Mischa get all of the fun, right?
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(2 questions|yambo me)
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| The Story Of The Century |
[04 Jan 2004|06:29am] |
Ok. I'm frantically trying to call travel agents to get booked on an earlier flight back to LA to get to work on our Britney stories.
Granted, our first show will be great, since we have one of the stars of Fox's "The O.C.," rachel__bilson as a guest! You have to check that out, it's going to be good.
But the humor is going to sell everything and today it's all about Britney and whatever Alexander she married. I've been informed that it's not the "Seinfeld" Alexander. For what it's worth, it is!
If I can get to the airport in an hour, I can get on a charter to San Francisco and fly down from there at 9am. At this point, it almost doesn't matter. I just need to get west ASAP. Suddenly, I'm on an episode of "The Amazing Race!"
I almost feel like doing a show tonight there's so much going on.
Maybe we should try to get an interview with the clerk that issued the license, and the people present when they got married. I personally think this is her continuing the great kutcher's Punk'd tradition, but don't sue me if I'm wrong!
Ok. Forget breakfast. I'm off to the airport now!
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(1 question|yambo me)
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| Prepping The Grind |
[04 Jan 2004|05:45am] |
The flight back to LA is in a few hours.
It's always a busy week the first set of shows for the New Year! And it seems like the network (That would be CBS) has a lot of stuff to promote.
You probably know about a little sporting event called "The Super Bowl." It's in Houston and it's a big deal. It's the Unofficial American Holiday... everyone eats, drinks, learns a little something about the US version of football, and watches all of the commercials with the celebrities, the animals, the gimmicks, etc. that you'll see either for the rest of the year or never again.
Followed, this year, by the "Survivor All Stars." Don't ask me about this, since apparently no one with the network knows exactly who the "stars" are or where the show is taking place.
I admit it. There's a lot of pressure being put on me to have the guests on the show. And I am again calling for... NONE of the guests on the show. My boss has them on his show at that Deli guy's counter. They don't need to sit on my fine leather chairs with their tick infested butts. Reality TV has gone far enough. It's time to get unreal again.
What happened to good TV acting and dancing? Huh? And no, this is not bitterness from the fact that "Survivor" WON an Emmy and my show hasn't even been NOMINATED for one. Not in the least.
Before you know it, February Sweeps will be here. There's so many things to do! So much to prepare! And, of course, all of those wonderful guests!
I'm ready. California, here I come... right back where I started from!
One more quick jog through Central Park before a shower, breakfast, check out, and the limo to JFK. Later!
EDIT: I have to get the writing staff at work on the Britney marriage. This might not be just the monologue, it could be the whole week of shows!
Note to self: Send a special thank you bouquet to the new bride. :)
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(yambo me)
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| Minnesota Kilby And The Last Brew Paid |
[01 Jan 2004|06:04am] |
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I think the rule is if someone invites you to a party, you are the guest. That generally means that you aren't paying to attend (unless that's made clear before you arrive, like a cover or bar charge). So, when you are in a situation where a lot of people are doing some pretty heavy drinking of some top shelf product, you don't expect to have to cover their costs.
I don't want to name names here. That's just not my style. And no, it wasn't any of the wonderful people over at MTV. In fact, they deserved to be bought the bar for all of the running around back and forth, in and out of the TRL studios! It was the New York City Marathon over there, and I think vanessaminnillo got the biggest workout, going from the roof to the street to the green room to the stage! She fluttered around Times Square like a piece of confetti and was just as cute.
Anyway, back to the complaints... If you know you aren't going to be paying for your drinks, think about who is. And you don't have to get the whole bar in your belly! You're only going to dump it into the toilet in a few hours... one way or another!
Is that the way to bring in the new year? All red-eyed and headachey, indulging so much you don't even remember the party you were at the night before? Sleeping right through all daylight hours? Eh. I attended three parties overall and had a total of 6 drinks all night, none of which I drained. And look! I can create a coherent sentence. And I can balance my checkbook, despite that evil bartab.
I think maybe next year I'll stick to leaving home with no billfold, no plastic. Then I won't be the one left holding the receipt! Let that be a lesson to me. It's better to give than to receive (the check)!
I could go into great detail about all of this, but I think people would say I'm being petty. Maybe I am. Well, if there's one thing I am... it's fair. So, perhaps I'll plan my own little soiree when I get back home. Maybe I'll rent out a venue for a little Valentine mixer? I don't think we've had a good Valentine's party since Hef got his seventh (current) girlfriend. That's far too long. But not as long as it's been since Hef got his seventh (overall) girlfriend! That was World War II or something like that!
I'm rambling now. I'm babbling now. Truthfully, it could have been a lot worse. If I had to pick up the tab at PUFFY'S party, I'd be in debt through New Years, 2044. That wouldn't be good for anybody. And at least the hors d'oevures weren't on the bill. A small favor in the form of a jumbo shrimp.
I hope you all had a lovely New Year's and that you all got to drink for free, like a lot of my friends did!
Welcome to 2004!
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(1 question|yambo me)
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